*[[ Angel full of Lღve]]*

~~Thursday, June 28, 2007~~

11:29:00 AM

The truth is out... Something which i may have predict... or my intuition tell me... but den again, so out? Haha, he really got lock up by the police, therefore he disappearing for 48hrs. But ytd my frenz call his office and they say he is off duty. But that night at 9plus, suddenly he msg me with a new number, where his old phone?? conficated by the police. And how come that night, he say he was working? wat happen? so many qn mark pop up again... but by den, i was already thinkin alot...

At first he don wan to come out, fear of draggin me down, givin me trouble, he also know wat his family say to me, does he really know, its ok le... no point showin him also... i will stomache it all den... well, at least i aint so worried after seeing him.. but it make me think thru... it is worth? well, as a frenz ok, but as others... i doubt so... we did have a short chat, wat might happen next? if he really jail, he cant come back anymore... den wat will happen den? till now, wat is it also? thing have gone into a noway out situation, but walk one step see one step ba, don bare to see him so depress, but wat to do? cant cry over spilt milk, he need to be responsible for wat he did.

Its something wrong, n he told me bout it le, he did it before he know me, haha... guys are wolf eh. alot of thing, i don wish to change, i donno wat to say, so i choose not to say, and let those qn mark stay... I miss him... but after today, alot of thing really will change... at least, i will slowly move abit... afteral he got a family to support him liao... don really need a frenz? n how long can i be there?

Thanks for giving me a happy memories... i will always keep it in my heart, everyday is a happy one... u nv make me cry... but think this few days, u kinda cuz it, but its cuz i worried, not u, so u still din make me cry... if everything have to full-stop which is soon... i wan to care n be frenz, maybe even as a sis, i donno how to explain, i felt that, ur a great person... If i can choose to know u or not know, i will still choose to have met u... stupid eh, hahaha... don matter, u also donno that this post ever existed...

End of this story for now ^3^

Will you ever notice me...

~~Wednesday, June 27, 2007~~

7:33:00 PM

Till now, he is still missing... but I kinda cool down abit le... I still don have any appetite nor can i slp, but my mum force me to eat, after eatin a mouth, i feel like puking... Why muz i so worried? but other den being worried, i cant do anything... feelin real helpless sia...

Call his office, they say today he off duty... wat really happen?? how come he is not on duty? for two days? so unlike him.. but i donno wat to do... other den sayin he off duty, they don wan say anything also... his HP also off... its really very worrying.. there are so many possiblilty, but beta don think too much...

I think unless he is back, or else, i cant eat or slp well... Jux hope he is well...

i know mami notice something wrong.. but she choose to keep quiet too... she used her normal method, which always work. Threat and scold me, hahaha, but i will only let abit...

One of my old frenz suddenly contact me back... quite happy, but my frenz make me so worried... i kinda confuse too... i got no mood for alot of stuffs... Haiz... donno wat m i talkin bout le... X(

Will you ever notice me...

~~Tuesday, June 26, 2007~~

6:52:00 PM

my frenz is missing... how come he is missing?? wat really happen to him? where is he? where has he gone to???!!! :'( Why he suddenly MIA? ytd he nv call me already so weird le, neither did he msg, its so not like him at all!!! wat is happenin, den when i call at ard 5pm, his hp is off, so i tots maybe he went back le or maybe hp no batts... But who know, till now, there is no news of him at all!! his hp is still off... i ask a frenz to call his office, but they say he is off today, but according to calculation, his off should be on a thu...

I m so worried till i have total no appetite at all... i cant get to slp too... i ask some frenz, they suggest that i went to look for him, so i went downstair, near his work area, hoping to take a peek, but who know, i din see anything... ( this is before i call his office and before alot of thingy happen, i went down at ard 11pm, vand waited till 12plus, jux as i was plannin to go back home, a unknown person call me... ask me do i know him, sayin that he din went home last night at all.. now, i m gettin even more worried.. the person claim to be his neighbour... say his family member wan know... i din know that he din went home the day before, den why he cant be contacted at all? wat happen?? where is he??

the lady kinda threatened me too, but i know i nv do anything wrong, i don wan say too much, but i got worried by the minute of wat might happen to him... i feel so helpless donno wat to do also... wat can i do? wat should i do? i m really very worried.. worried till sick le... runnin a fever yet... i no appetite... i nv been so worried before... where is he? wat happen??? so weird, so many question marks.

this is so not like him!!! should i wait one more day? or maybe he went his frenz hse? or went to his hometown? wat happen?? he is still ok the day before... he still got msg with me, den ask why i need wakey so early... i should have pick up the call at 8plus in the morning... where is he? i wan him back!!! wat happen? pls stop makin me so worried...

Will you ever notice me...

~~Monday, June 25, 2007~~

4:54:00 PM

I know i have been thinking a little too much... a little too far, but i cant help it... my heart get so uneasy... I m worried... over wat? haha, i also donno le...

I know my heart is missing a part at times, but wat to do... last night, suddenly gastric pain... so hard to bear, but why? i cant slp well also, wake up every few hours... or even less den an hour...

I m not only stressing over my own sales target, and till now, i cant sell any yet.. its this terrible...

I did fall aslp awhile, but so wat? my dreams is makin me freak out!! but i m more afraid of wat might happen when i open my eyes? i fear this reality even more!!!

heard that bear is coming over for a trips... but i m so moodless... everyone seem weird... even i m gettin werid lately... going back to my old self again? sleepless, no appetite? all the symtoms of stress...

weird... how come he din call or msg me after his work... maybe cux i say i work till 5pm, ok, i shall wait awhile more and don worry so much first... kinda miss him... so many days no see him le...

Will you ever notice me...

~~Sunday, June 24, 2007~~

6:55:00 PM

Lately i got another type of stress, i do wan some of the stuffs to be perfecet, i donno how to destress.. play games? but sometime, game make u even more stress. IT products sure is hader to sell. but its ok, i wont give up so fast also de... I only keep doing it for bout 4days. I start doin it on Thu, but prob is, i haven got the list, haha, den again, sat and sun, i don work... haha... i muz jiayou, cuz no sales mean i have no income... its a risk, but my parents are kinda against this type of risk. Meanin I muz prove to them... Anyone of u wan buy any IT product pls approach me okay ^^ give me ur budget too...

One of my frenz got check by police, cuz he keep appearing at a neighbourhood, but it is illegal to send his gf home? its wrong to appear there? WtH lor.. haiz... kinda worried for my frenz... wat if it affect his work, cuz the polis go his workplace check, he think they only checkin his background... Haha... that wat he suspect, but wat really is the truth, we donno... the roadmaster also nv summon him for questioning...

I think i really need my own notebook fast, i cant use my comp at night, and need to share or should i say fight with family members? its hard to really work like this. I got so many things to do. Den sometime when i got bored, i wanna get some entertainment too.. if not i will keep anyhow think, and i also get sian of life... its irritating.

With all the naggin i will get frustrated, moreover my little brother like to add to my stress and frustration. Keep make noise and shout and pester. Say wan use comp and so on la. He really seem like a gal at times. its so errr!!! den my mami also, 6pm le, later 8pm i wan use, faster la, i also wan use and so on... Haiz... sometime really don wish to come home, yet they will say other thingy again. den after that, how do i entertain myself? Life is juz so dead and boring!! phone cant use, comp cant use, cant go out!, den i do wat?!!

Will you ever notice me...

~~Monday, June 18, 2007~~

7:11:00 PM

today i have the exam for my last module and i also send in the assignment for my module mentoring, therefore i grad le ^^ now waitin for my result and my cert and den deciding whether to continue in a degree or not... SO happy, after so 'long'. I finally finish le...

Lookin for my dream job slowly, cuz this mentoring make us do a report on PLAN TO SUCCESS make me think alot and did some plannin too...

Will you ever notice me...

~~Friday, June 15, 2007~~

9:42:00 PM

Zz, why my mami always so not understandin. Always juz yellin n blame me, find excuses, not that i don understand, but sometime, it really irritate me!!! cant she juz support me, n not everything find reason to blame me?? or juz vent her anger on me too? i have been fan enuff le lor!!!

This assignment take up 80% of the grades lor, they are like so unsupportin, yell n shout, i know they wan slp, but they place the comp in their room, wat do they expect? they don wan give me a laptop too!!! i need a comp, cuz the lecturer wan us to type it out lor, i need to think den i can write rite? Haiz!! so piss off n fan... so upset also... somemore this assignment need 2K words, ard there wor!!!

Plan to success? i know i can, although i have so many set-back in life, really very happenin in my life eh, haha, frenz even ask me, do i still have depression? well, i have move out of it le.. maybe i really will join my frenz n his frenz de cpy ba, its kinda look interestin... biz is not easy but its fun.... thinkin n considerin.. will keep u update ^^

Will you ever notice me...

~~Thursday, June 14, 2007~~

5:44:00 PM

Maple Story

Click here to play this game
Mini version, kinda cute sia... hahaha...

Quite alot of things happen today... Haiz... well, i wonder wat with all the happenin all at ago again... its kinda irritatin, n i know i cant handle it at all lor.

1stly, someone tell me, cant forget me, even if he got someone he like n also harbour some tots... den the next day, he kinda like mood swing... Zz..

2ndly, another guy is really makin me go mad!!! i donno how to handle anymore, going to burst... he kinda like threatened me lor, ok maybe not, but i felt so force by him... cuz he ask me out for movie today den i told him cant, cuz i need do my assignment which is my exam, n also check my stuffs, cuz i now sellin stationery(freelance). So he ask how bout tml, den i kinda lie say maybe need pei my dear. Haha... den he kinda got angry lor! den he send me this "can u tell me, i have done so much yet u don have feelin for me. Juz a little also dun have? I did all things also bcos of u. Dun u ever got touch or ur heart make of stone? The way i love u i dun i lose to him i dunno how much he treasure but for sure is will not lose uo him. u should know how much i love u.if u sayin by givin a chance to me is unfair for both den wont u find it unfair to me this way. u rather give him den give me. Is obvious that from the start u juz simply dun even take in consideration. anyway wish u 2 can last long. n u think he can give u happiness juz dun regret" I feel so force by it.... he sound so angry or juz plain jealous. too big man idea la! hello, i have my rights lor, i can choose who i wanna be with, even if not this dear, i can also find other guys rite? its a feelin, no have mean don have... so wat if i m touch or understand? the chemistry n feelin is not there ar...

THings are gettin nasty sooner or later, i really donno how to handle, its givin me a headache... i cant juz ignore it, cuz it will be hauntin me unless i solve it... why cant we juz be frenz?? i tot he like the same gal, my kor like also? don tell me, he chasin both gal? he wan both? omg, wat a flirt.. Zz... lately guys are all like that de lor... haiz... donno la, so fun

My mami is sick, headache i think, but she cant eat medi, n my bro is as irksome as usual, make everyone piss off... think the one who die in the end is me, cuz the anger is all vent on me as usual de... Zz... haiz, don wan say so much...

Will you ever notice me...

~~Monday, June 11, 2007~~

8:27:00 PM

Super Flash Mario Bros

Click here to play this game

today i went to east coast park, its so nice, the breeze is so nice also... wow.. been so long... haha... some ppl really know how to assure me at times, feel so much beta now... though some ppl cant help me at certain times, but i have lotsa frenz to help me.. n be there.. well, don really matter much at all, most impt is happy... how bout another quest for u all viewer, hope u all enjoy ^^

Mario World

Click here to play this game

Will you ever notice me...

~~Sunday, June 10, 2007~~

7:43:00 PM

today is sunday... donno why, i got my homework few days ago, yet i cant concentrate... cant do any thinkin also... Zz, cant complete my work, abit stressin... haha... Another invitation for my bdae... really donno how to decide n plan le... should i advance or delay it?? or who should i go out with, i m happy that this yr, so many ppl care, yet... kinda confuse by it too... Haha... maybe my dear not free....

Click here to play this game
Today quite happenin, when we went out, well, we went to bishan library... to return books, but we always borrow more as well...(in library got some lucky spins, well, my bro got a ruler while i got a bag, so lucky of me~~~ weee) me, my bro n mami went to the bus-stop first, den out bus come, but cuz we wanna wait for dadi, so we miss the first bus, we let it go... its before 2pm, it come at 1,45pm, ard there... therefore we waited for the next bus... my dadi reach shortly after... but after waitin so long, the bus din come... even bus 261, have passes 5 times... den the opposite of bus 55, also come 3 times, its bout 30 to 45min later that the bus 55 finally come, but its so pack... so the driver actually ask us to wait for the next bus... but we already waited for so long, well in the end, we did squeeze in. The second bus even over-took the first bus lor, the bus-captain of the first bus is ching fong, the second driver is a lady... Haiz... wat sia... irksome!

Another happenin is when we went to the ntuc there... cuz after dinner( i treat them to dinner at pastamania) we wan to go walk walk, buy some necessity home ma... Den i saw my dad standin at the vege ard there, so i went over, den i notice wat is he lookin at... there is a middle-age couple doin some stuffs...as we all know, the ginger,garlic,onion, all always pack in a net-bag... this two ppl is pourin out the ginger from the yellow colour de net.. den put the net into a plastic bag... they keep doin it, n makin a mess there, all the ginger is all over the ard, n they takin all the net, this is something they shouldn't do.. my bro went to notify the lady who is packin the fruits, as she is so call in charge of the vege section as seem, but who know, she din do anything at all, only tell my bro, " later someone will caught them de la" Zz wat an unresponsible answer to give. Even their home-clothes security nv do anything.. Zz, i took down pic of that shameless couple.. too bad, i cant upload to my comp, if not show u all... Later on, we did tell their manager (desmond seet) is he the manager? but well, he is the over-al incharge... he need run all over the place, so abit hard to find him, but always see him de la.. he standin at the cashier. We can only feed-back, got do anything is up to them, even if he can say will teach them or well, its doesn't matter. cause, quite disappointed in ppl... he can guide them, but they wan heel or not, noone can force... at least i know i m doin the rite thing to report it... haha...

Will you ever notice me...

~~Saturday, June 09, 2007~~

3:05:00 PM

Click here to play this game
Above is some game to relax awhile... see the bomb, be a saddist, be happy, win it dude!! haha. i siao liao la...

so bored at home, my frenz put me aeroplane, but hope she is ok, nv tio dengee fever lor... but its so bored... to be at home... but my homework haven finish also.. haha... but my parents lately worried abit too much, they like don let me go seaside, but i seem to love the beach, have fun.. very long nv go le la... i like the quiet place, with nice ppl accompany, everyone can either play or juz sit there n shut up. by juz lookin at the sea, playin with the sand... it make me feel relax... nice breeze...

Hehe, hope next time my dates will be parks, seaside, beach, more outdoor, i rather have sports, den juz go to movie n shoppin center... i rather go his hse or watch tv at my hse... more cosy... moreover, i m scare of cold ma... den my old jacket are failing me...

Zzz... something juz happen that make me so piss off!! i felt so disrespected... they always like that de lor! Zz!!! when i got no mood to eat, they keep call n shout n yell n force me to go eat, say eat later, keep first, they took it n eat it away, forget it la, no mood to eat, don eat beta... Zz... irritatin... so many anger in my heart but nowhere to vent!! Always de... but why i so nice to them? why everything think for them? let them?? i admit to wat bd say... i know i m like that, i m hurtin myself only... seriously m... i m selfish!!! but its towards myself... i treat them so nice, think for them, only care wat they feel, nv really put my own tots to mind, wat if i did? i cant do anything, they are my parents, the authority... even my bro win me... Zz, cuz he is the son? wtf lor. guy big deal? i really wish to move out, move away from this god-darn place... sometime... i really wish to end everything here... hope they don push me to the day where i cant tolerate anymore... den... Sayorana!!!

Will you ever notice me...

~~Friday, June 08, 2007~~

9:38:00 PM

countin down to my birthday... bout one month away... 07072007 (there will be 3[07]{070707}) so special... i hope to spend it with special ppl, but who know wat will be up... Wat if something happen?? den everything have to replan, so i beta don hope too much, moreover, i donno how to choose... kinda got few frenz ask me out, den hor, not all frenz can put all tgt ma.

Hope this year will be diff, n i can get many presents, well, actually wat i wan is wishes.. cuz noone really celebrate it, but i don wan it on the day itself... i rather celebrate beforehand... or maybe after... haha... don mind... thinkin, i got so many needs n wants, but they all are not impt... cuz no matter wat, its the heart that matter, n that wat matter most to me... so curious wat i may get... from whom... any unique gifts from the heart? or is it something i desire? well, hope to have the company of frenz, as i don like lonely...

Juz now went out to bishan n dinner with a frenz of mine... hehe.... den i saw my old colleague... cool. a couple.. holdin hands... kinda envy... so sweet... my frenz also very cute, keep disturb me... hahaha.... donno how to put into words, so everything is up to ur imagination ba =b

Will you ever notice me...

~~Thursday, June 07, 2007~~

7:10:00 PM

Hehe, today is the fourth day of sch, everything is going fine n smooth... happy, no stress as well.. well i don deny that i got tutorial to do la...

Today i went out with frenz for dinner, actually say wan go out, den who know the end only left me n carolyn, so sad lor.. haiZzz... but in the end, went to my workplace eat, den get my paycheck, well, saw them, hmm, don wan say so much for wat happen, but i really do miss some... wow, after work, some are nicer i guess.. but now when workin time...

Today bd is upset, he is moody, but i cant really be there for him.. haha, too bad... tml den comfort him ba... wonder wat really happen, but be due to work, but den again... its the same regardless wat work, everywhere got prob n politics de la...

Today, i saw my fifth aunt, she come to sg to see doc, she is from malaysia, wow, saw her at amk mrt station, so shock lor. haha... surprise... hahaha... she look kinda diff...

I got so much to talk, yet don really feel like chattin now... cuz today need do some silly tutorial. ok not that lame la, but i kinda shy.... its ok, i will accept it... haha, but wat is up for me, i roughly know, but den... i need filter them too la... everyone will more or less give the same, cuz noone is perfect, but everyone got diff view ma.. so how bout u? as a frenz. wat abilities or skills do u think i have? pls e-mail me n tell me....

Will you ever notice me...

~~Tuesday, June 05, 2007~~

5:55:00 PM

Ytd i start sch le.. wow, after so long, i do miss sch, at least, there still an element of fun... haha...

Wow, i startin to miss alot of ppl, my bd, my colleague(eg, ai di sheng, jen jie jie n so on) Ytd sure was a happenin day... but it got a deep impact in my life, i went home late, but my dad got so angry that he say, u don need to come back already la... Swt... i felt so bad n guilty, felt so sour... Haiz... yet i wish my dear dear was there... yet he cant be found... sob... Den ytd went on the cab back, i tio police-stop, the police stop my cab, check, ask me go, say ok, but i got stop again, n ask me to come out of the cab, den check my IC, but i don bring it out de, so i give him my student pass.. Donno wat he writin, but finally let me go off anyway... Weird weird.. but i really don really like or trust.. feel so uneasy when see them... bad memories...

Today when i got home, i saw police downstair, felt uneasy again, but wonder wat happen, i saw a policeman questioning, those boys at my blk... i also saw blood on the floor... zz, don wan think or care so much... Oh ya, today heard that my frenz de helmet got stolen, but the thief only stole one of it... omg, wat a weird thief, why steal one? Zz, but why my frenz don wan to lock sia??

Lately really so fan... haiz, but i got worried for my frenz too...hope my frenz don let me worried... Ok, i m going out again... parents jio me out. beta go gua ^^ stay happy... love my day, treasure it.

Will you ever notice me...

~~Sunday, June 03, 2007~~

9:15:00 PM

recently at work, I keep get niao... Zz! very piss off de, but i also tolerate over le... though my manager is gettin beta, my senior got worst. but who care, as all not that impt anymore le...This two day, 受了很多威脅及委屈。but its all over le... i finally 度過了。Haiz.. but i very不舍得those nice people or can i say frenz... Haiz... so upset... 心酸酸的。 Cant really talk much, so rush of time, think i continue some other time...

Lately, one of my frenz send me a msg, i see le also stun, donno wat to say... haiz... feel guilty? doubt so... but, maybe u all should see den judge... "我成心成意的祝你幸福快樂。你一定要幸福。我從來沒有那么愛一個人過﹐你是第一個然我感受到的。我知道我跟你因該不可能的﹐當我會一直的那么愛你﹐我也不會做出shemo事困擾你。我只希望你會把握當成一個好朋友看代。謝謝你然我知道真正愛一個人的滋味是ze樣的。被愛是幸福的﹐一些人這一生都的不到這種幸福。" wat does this really mean?? haiz, i cant think it thru... To think he know me so long, he can say, gal go for look! wtf lor, i dare to say, i m not that type of gal lor. he say all gal lor!! Ediot!!! how well does he know me? does he even know himself? check his charater fhi(for his info) haiz... Everyone know i m not that type of gal, wat an insult!!!

Will you ever notice me...