*[[ Angel full of Lღve]]*

~~Tuesday, May 27, 2008~~

2:18:00 PM

speechless........... alot,. too much juz on my mind, wats right, wat wrong, i no longer know.... darn very upset.,... sobbin in my bedroom, but who know, even on occasion when i juz run out of my hse... T.T i really donno..................

ppl who i knew, i suddenly realise, i no longer knew them... no longer sure n clear of who they are... sinking back into the darkness... the small little path of light, suddenly dimmer and juz gone within the mist... shadow covered over it... totally eat me up... i cant even see my own hand which is hand up rite in front of my face...

who are this stranger whose name i still can tell... whose face are startin to change... and a long tail growing and leg disappearing... whispering the name on my lips... tryin to picture an imagine to this name... its juz get so blurry...

do i know them? how can i ever live with this stranger? how did i have done it? all alone again, back to start. or maybe i have nv began at all.... juz awaken up from a deep weird dream... everything become clear.. i nv knew them to start with.. nv like them to start with? nv wanted to know or trust them to start with... i was half safe... half injure... not to the point of no return yet... but hidin in my room... dreamin of how to die... its suddenly feel real...

temptation to slit... planning wat to do... we shall seeee............... i m real sda... hugging myself. hiding in the corner in a blanket... tear flowing. i wanna run... and nv return.......... waitin.... tolerating for awhile moreeee.................

Will you ever notice me...

~~Thursday, May 15, 2008~~

3:43:00 PM

Today at first suppose to go kbox with my frenz... few days ago, i was so depress... den now i feel abit beta, cos there is still hope, but i m so emo... i really feel like crying...

i really wonder wat are frenz for? who are real frenz sometime u know... i have my own freakin prob, but its ok, i will help my frenz first, at least for the meantime, i can forget bout my own stuffs. i can stop my tots, stop my tears.. i wonder is my frenz ok not, when will he be back from overseas, ok i miss him darn alot la... haiz... praying for the good newssss.. T.T

p.s. mr sherwin, i m darn fuckin angry with u la... but do u really know the reason? oh well u don..., last time ask u go sentosa, u give shit reason like, don like that type of place, promise u, kbox, seoul all those i sure on. ok fine, ask u go kbox den, don wan reply... sms don wan reply, don wan go, juz fkin tell me, u cannot make it or don wan go la!, knnbccb! wait till i on9, ask u again, still don wan reply leh, need raine come reply for u... i m angry that, u cant go, why cant tell me? or inform me? u bloody no hand or mouth meh? or u mute le? cut off ur tongue or finger le? ok fine, sick den... no voice den... den still can go out with other ppl? go nydc at orchard? tot u sick? wtf... idk wat to say liao... i think i paste the whole chat log here ba... T.T
(in main)
`BabyRain: 2pm at orcahrd mrt, go wheelock place NYDC disturb dIta~ Nuriko, sherwin, babyrain, grey ishh going!!!
L`-Afk: sei sherwin
SkY^sIcK: ....
`BabyRain: zzz
L`-Afk: den tonight how?
L`-Afk: U COMIN NOT?!
`BabyRain: angel, he sick. cannot sing
SkY^sIcK: see!!
`BabyRain: he no voice ler
`BabyRain: dun torture him
SkY^sIcK: goin to get slap le
`BabyRain: angel wanna come mar
L`-Afk: OK FINE
L`-Afk: cannot go rite
L`-Afk: don wan go say!
L`-Afk (~Qi_hurt@220.255.109.23) Quit (Quit (DEpReSS TO THE MAXIMUM:(, I m shattered, my heart is broken to pieces n no matter hw much mendin oso useles even faerie R helples~ I GOT DEPRESSION??? =~()
[den someone sms me ask me to on9, so i juz on9 see wat they got to say.]
(in pm)
`BabyRain: u liddat oso dulan
`BabyRain: den ignore me and logoff
`BabyRain: zz
L`-Du|anZ: something else
`BabyRain: u dulan he nvr go ur kbox mar
L`-Du|anZ: something else
`BabyRain: but he lost his voice hw u expect him go
`BabyRain: he tht u dulan him
`BabyRain: he emo liaos
(back in main)
`BabyRain: angel meii wanna come marhs
nuriko: how coming princess
nuriko: me also duno him
nuriko: hahaha
HcTiB: don wan
nuriko: this outign i only know raine
HcTiB: meetin B`- later
`BabyRain: =\
`BabyRain: ok
HcTiB: ppl sick, still can go out sia
(juz den, i receive two notice)
-`BabyRain- u say not him den u aim him
-`BabyRain- zzz
*in conclusion, got one leg? lolz, zzz if really sick, cant go out, still can go orchard? did i say something wrong? ask me don torture him, he cant come, ok fine lor, den now he can go other place, cool, cant come, don even dare tell me sia, so hum ji... wat a 'frenz' den again... nvm... need reconsider liao... sad... real sad... like wat i say, i really is almost frenzless...

Will you ever notice me...

~~Tuesday, May 13, 2008~~

10:34:00 AM

=} relief, hope, pray... oh well... maybe wat i dream is a hint.. all will be fine... idk too, juz don think so much... chill babe... =} maybe u misunderstand? he is not that type of person. where ur trust... come on... have faith in him... trust him... =} u always have patient... come on trust it... =} pray all turn out well... one last time k, let do it tgt ^^

Will you ever notice me...

~~Sunday, May 11, 2008~~

2:59:00 PM

................ haiz.............................. shattered and bleeding heart.... nth left...

save out of a well from drownin but thrown into a sea.... which is worst...

Will you ever notice me...

~~Friday, May 09, 2008~~

6:07:00 PM

425days more... haiz... lately been so worried... but now, i know its should be ok... cos my frenz juz went overseas... with no news at all. oh well... everything will see how it goes... i don even know when he will be back... his hp number also give ppl use le, but his frenz did msg me, hope i wont be real sad and disappointed... hoping and wishin for the news...

59days to my birthday i think... hoping a mircle will happen that day... plsssssssssss. haiz...

i will cut it short as not really in the mood... lately feel so tired too... anyway, think my mami abit sot, keep finding thingy to scold, lame piece of shit, anyway.... my bro fail his exam also scold me? compo so? not as if i nv tell u, nv give u helping stuffs, u listen? do u ever bother? pls la, ur freakin son don even wan listen to me, how to teach? watever, lazy say le...

yay, i totally love my sentosa outing ytd~ with I`-, B`-, Grey, Dezelous, me and b`-'s sis, den ctrl did come for awhile, oh my, we have so much fun~ love the water, love the sun... got abit of sunburn, but it look so cute, so i forgive the sun, play too much, kinda have some muscle cramps. lolz! <3

Will you ever notice me...

~~Monday, May 05, 2008~~

9:41:00 PM

today i got an answer for a certain qn... oh well. its time to look for another job,. though the answer i cant accept, but well, as we all know... when they got thing in mind, they will tell u alot of reason... oh well, juz accept it. like wat she say, i still young... but den again, i don love my job? i don like talkin? omg, all this are bullshit la, who donno angel love to talk? who donno i love my job, oh well, maybe they don, maybe like wat she say, i not cut out for f&b, i also no mood work for her le... pay so little... but den again, i wont totally say OChaCha suck yet... but i find them, sop, food, thing all so exp, food so small portion, so little... tryin cheat ppl out of money yah? so when customer scold, i m luffin deep inside my heart =x orbi.

its ok, now i can look for hotel line... hehe... =} maybe i really got a prob... see how ba, its good also, i can take a break, rest abit =} why did i even take it in the first place, is cos of the high position. so picky, no wonder keep under staffs.

my mum ask me, did i take my shoes back, i tell her, old shoes u wan? juz leave it there, throw it inside lor, their beret n apron still there, somemore their uniform so ugly. OMG! =x lolz, i keep alot of unhappy in my heart, since now its over, i can let out alittle =} make my hair not that straight only.

i knew it on sat, already predicted it... n i already told myself, unless pay increase, even if watever happen, i think i also no mood to work for them le... true, boss is nice, not bad, crew are ok, but everyone is wearing a mask there, can feel it... =} muz learn to protect myself more le...

but omfg, i m not that totally sad at all, in fact, i m fine, LOLZ! even my mum n frenz seem supportive toward it. =} happy~

Will you ever notice me...

~~Saturday, May 03, 2008~~

11:42:00 PM

i been so happy and hopeful.. though sometime, to me, its like a day pass a day... but today at first i feel so enlightened, so glad, but now suddenly, i feel like i hit rock bottoms...

Will you ever notice me...