Here's a story of a girl,
Living in the lonely world,
A hidden note, A secret crush,
A little boy who talks too much.

Well, I'm standing in the crowd,
And when you smile I check you out,
But you don't even know my name,
You're too busy playing games,

And I want you too know,
If you lose your way,
I won't let you go.

If I cut my hair,
If I change my clothes,
Will you notice me?

If I bite my lip,
If I say hello,
Will you notice me?


PROFILEY

An introduction about myself (:

两个世界的人,可以是朋友、可以是仇人、可以错身而过,但是如果 他们相爱了,结局只有走上灭绝的命运。就像飞鸟恋上鱼,拼了命想 厮守一起,但却是害了对方,毁了自己。

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EXITSY

Ryan. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend.

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Lyrics of the song "Notice Me" by Zetta Bytes

Friday, December 11, 2009
1:53:00 PM

1stly i wanna say first. this goin to be a long long post... so if u goin to read it.. don say its long.. i cant really control all emotion much longer. i felt so heavy... let start with something light first... den heavy den idk wat to say bout that de. lolz...

i got ther weirdest dream ever.. LOL. i m serious.. cant believe i got... fated? truth? let talk bout the dream few days ago first.. i dreamt i was landed in hospital.. n wat worst. is i almost die twice... den idk wat happen. the hospital become kinda haunted. full of zombie? or idk wat those creature.. but there is one guy i like. or love? even idk... he come up or ran up to find me.. m happy to see him, yet i found out.. there is another gal who like him... den suddenly he jus disappear.. weird... nvm, this mornin i jus got one more weird dream... another guy. i donno why i keep bumpin into him. 1st at outside... stranger.. den 2nd time at a job interview... n 3rd at my hse!! someone's son... er. cousin? dono leh.. no impression... den there was a lady in my room... give birth to a tiny baby... she roll off the bed. almost flatten the veryvery tiny baby.. only bout finger size. was save by me... its weird n creepy.. the string haven cut off n very long.. yet the mother in law was in the kitchen n said. was waitin for the mother to killed the baby cos too fat. flatten the baby n baby die. cos they cannot afford or something... wow! yet the guy whom i saw for so many times, keep appearing beside me.. who is he sia. rofl... nvm... this are jus dream... or are they??

last sunday... er.. but i went on sat. LOLZ. cos we are suppose to met at 12am at certain pick-up point... mine was at yishun... so i set off bout 11plus.. i reach at 11.35 or 40, n the bus is already there so i jus board it n sit behind... mindin my own biz. den i got to know of a malay gal. n we chat abit.. we reach the pandan at 12.45am i think.. i only rmb its was damn early... den we go n register at the volunteer counter. get our shirt n change.. as i scare of cold. i jus wear on.. den i met glenn. he was also there. with one old couple, alvin there too. den i got to know of a gal name val, who assume those are my family or couple or something.. its was funny. den we chat more n so on~ haha... n we happen to get a 'not so smart, think within the box, n only see squarish' de leader =3 eg, he bring us down to the espanda there. so late ofc close rite.. den he choose to walk out using the car drive exit = =" cant he jus use the exit stair? its faster n shorter cut.(actually in the start can jus cross the road, its even faster) LOL! another incident.. the toilet was so near. yet he say the long way to all the way back to where we start off in the begainin... *fainted* one more even more fun one... can jus walk str to met point... he wan us to walk one bigbig round to pick up litter = =" everyone was so shag already.. stand whole day... jagar whole day..... rofl... he is slow too...
we are dislike like almost 2plus pm = =" i will skip other funny detail.... i posted some pic on facebook. oh got to know a guy there. he was suppose to run full marathon but den he got injured so he din run. he took alot of photo.. http://picasaweb.google.com/qqlaisk (credit to him and thks for sharing the link with me) and there is one short clip here.. =3 enjoy it.

now to talk bout something alil more serious... work stuffs. are ppl really trustable? in every interview.. they sure to ask. are u okay to work alil ot.. who will ever answer no rite? but wat if.. u don get wat u really tots? u work ot every single days? n a free ot for 2.5hr without gettin ot pay? how long are u willin to do that? suffering in silence... its all part of work... but wat if ur askin n suddenly ur boss call u up n tell u " i don tolerate such nonsense, u say ok when being interview... blah blah. if u don wan. tml can don need come in" haha. how power is that... but how many free ot will u work? without gettin paid at all?! being workin from 9 till 7.30 per day. even one wk. already more den 44hr per wk... its already breech the SOP of MOM.. haiz. speechless. maybe cos top agent from prudential is bz.. haha.. everyday i see other colleague. off work at 6pm, feel dishearted yet i strive even harder... yet i heard all their pay is like at least 400bucks more den mine.. i gettin a very low bargain.. my dad ask me quit. sayin i m like a cheap labour. LOL overwork totally without being pay rite... frens feel i got werid after i startin work, i din even notice... some feel. why ur boss like this. other feel. did ur partner did something.. i seriously got no idea.. i m gettin more n more workload each day. part of learnin. but den. i feel like a lil maid. haha =3 maybe she wan me to get used to the place where the stuffs. but yet.. she say everyone got their way of doing.. yet when i do it my way. i got scolded.. wat if miss out.. haiz if so. why don jus give me the sop n i jus follow? sigh... really no idea.. alot alot of my mind. but the next day when i went back office. boss say ' u sure cannot a' its like a totally diff person.. weird.... i till now don uds.

one final thing before i end this post... how can ppl change... yet i cant even tell. m i so dumb to believe? are guys all so not trustable.. sweet talk n two time u? n in the end. they scold u bitch n blame u? even when u din do anything n swallow all the pain n suffering... wat happen. why do ppl change? from something to nothing overnight... so cold.. act blur... ppl always say there no right or wrong.. but in the end. when u decided to give up n suffer alone.. not tellin anything.. ppl come n bark at u. and blame u for everything single shyt.. how much more of prob can i take before i really collapse again.. hahaha... sometime i wish i get memories lost. forget everything i ever know... i feel so helpless day after day... i feel so alone.. i keep lockin myself. how do i unlock if shyt keep happenin. how do i trust if ppl keep breakin them.. i m jus a normal gal who needa care n love as well... i love myself.. i care bout myself.. but yet... y m i lettin myself suffer alone n keepin it... so wat if i say out. nth help... T.T i wanna cry.. but i wont.. i felt my heart so pain. so heavy.. so tired... so cold already...........

i feel like isolating........

Will you ever notice me...