An introduction about myself (:
两个世界的人，可以是朋友、可以是仇人、可以错身而过，但是如果 他们相爱了，结局只有走上灭绝的命运。就像飞鸟恋上鱼，拼了命想 厮守一起，但却是害了对方，毁了自己。
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Ryan. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend.
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Lyrics of the song "Notice Me" by Zetta Bytes
im feelin really really upset... i miss him dearly
Wish You Were Here Wish You Were Here... Me, oh, my country man, Wish You Were Here... I Wish You Were Here... Don't you know, the snow is getting colder, And I miss you like hell, And I'm feeling blue... I've got feelings for you, Do you still feel the same? From the first time I laid my eyes on you, I felt joy of living, I saw heaven in your eyes... In yor eyes... Wish you were here... Me, oh, my country man, Wish You Were Here... I Wish You Were Here... Don't you know the snow is getting colder, And I miss you like hell... And I'm feeling blue... I miss your laugh, I miss your smile, I miss everything about you... Every second's like a minute, Every minute's like a day When you're far away... The snow is getting colder, baby, I Wish You Were Here... A battlefield of love and fear, And I Wish You Were Here... I've got feelings for you, From the first time I laid my eyes on you...
its gettin late. but with each passing sec. my agony is no lesser den before.. with every min passing... i miss him even more now.. right now. even my printer is messing up. rofl like always mom n bro throw the work to me. n when i cant do nothing. the work is throw to dad. sigh... >.> my bro need to be more hardowkring.. i ask my bro to help since evening n he drag till now. n my mom blame me.. so uncool.. right now.. im feelin so shattered. but i cant really share with anyone. it jus hurt... i have so much in mind. yet nothing to say. cos my whole mind is filled with him.
i wish everything is jus dramatic. n that its jus a lies or jus a a dream.. right now i can only hope or wait.. it will be better soon.. once the storm is over. there always a rainbow right?? only time will tell. thou we dono how long the duration will be... riki said that kou is jus dramatic. he will login tml. hahaha tml i have anyway. i wont know.. right now. after knowing. i been crying for the past 5hrs. but its pointless and useless... its not goin to help or do anything.. damn it. why did i go back to nap. i tot he wont be on but he did. n i miss a lot of times with him.. but readin thru wat they are talking its better im not there. cos i would jus be crying and dono wat to say.. =( right now even when im typing. it still hurt my heart so much... i miss him already. ='D his last msg to me is so touching too. haha.. it be fine. it be fine. i will tell myself it be fine.. =D jus need time.. time pass fast when there are thing to do. =D suddenly. im listening to this song.. it ache my heart n i jus burst into tears.. the meaning jus... seem to be screaming into my ears. right now.. i cant talk much. no words wanna come out of my mouth... =( i feel dead......... but i will stay strong =D i will. fighto!
seriously this dickhead here. piss me off so badly. its worst den a 12yr old brat. why does some ppl love doin things that other hate so much. n wat make it worst is. he knew the hate. he also knew the reason behind the hate and yet he still wanna do it. seriously son of a bitch.. im like a volcano now. flummin with lots of anger. are all black so aggroant? i met a few.. n seriously. the answer is sad.. maybe i met most of the bad ones.. he always claim he fuck lots of girl. commentin bout it. bout asian being too tight for him and stuffs. jeez. girl are human too. not a thing.. n i cant believe he told me. he got to "test the car before he buy it" meaning sleep with the girl before he decide he wan her. wow wat if he throw her away. i pity the girl who cross his road. at least slowly i more n more understand my mom dislike for black. well not to all black. but some.. their action are so horrible.. his not even loyal to friend. he only think bout himself. askin other how cute he look? look my ass. even my butt look cuter. drink more. i hope u get lung cancer or watever!! sleep around so much with girls. I HOPE U GET AIDS!!! just die already. so kind ppl can live longer.. all the fake concern and all seriously a scumbag!!! fker! hahaha come at me. sayin kill me if see me on pvp. u cant dude. u dono me at all. i hate pvp. i don even like war or fight. how are u goin to find me? =D but at the same time. im worried bout blue. miss him so much.. wonder where he is. wat he is doin... i wanna be in his hugs already =( sigh im stop for now....
i heard some bad news. n i cant thinkin n thinkin n thinkin over it... i cant help but cry.... im so useless.....
a busy weekend jus come... 3 full day at event volunteer. its so fun. i have my whole family with me too. even mom said its fun.. and meanwhile on that.. alot alot happen. i learn how fragile some r/s are.. how lame some reason can be... i was so worried past few days cos i got no news.. but now.. its jus so much happiness. im still scared.. n worried but more relief now. each day its like a new and last day. treasuring it.. n i finally got to hear him say the 3 word.. its jus so sweet n mean so much.. im so happy.. at least i tot he hate textin me. cos it might bother.. or that his gamin but now.. ik its not.. its cos his moving with no net.. its a relief. i scared it something else.. n his voice is jus so charming... n i do learn more thing now. more bout him.. it make me happy. <3 im finally earnin more of him.. i also know that a person can leave u with reason like "bored" or come up with lots of story n stuffs. makin up things n fake number. there are so much things which can be fake =( who to trust or believe.. i have no idea.. trust none den.. i also recieve threatenin msg. from someone cousin sayin wanna break my bf up so my bf with can be with his friend tif. interesting.. if its so easy to break up. its not true love den.. =( so much so much fake things.. so hard to trust... so much hurt too.. i feel like my past comin back slowly. clearing itself or makin me more upset or idk... rumor are spread by hater. but ppl believe it anyway.. ppl also spread it.. well cos they are jealous.. =/ idk but it still hurt to be call hoe. den again. i don wan care. i jus wanna stay happy.. im keep everything short. cos my mind is too much of a mess. but.. when i think of blue. everything jus calm down n feel better.. so now.. im jus relax.. and see wat come... i will take it all. im so much stronger now.. i met some nice new balance ppl too. learn some funny stuffs. i might share them next time.. <3
im feelin kinda upset for lots of things... but idk how to put to words. its mostly thing out of control... =( i really wanna cry.. well sorta.. it feel cry n unknown.. i have so much words yet.. i cant put it to words.... right now.. alot of thing hit my mind.. it hurt alil.. i don feel really impt. like.. i could easily be replace.. jus a blind of eye. im not very noticable.. it hurt... it make me sad too. idk wat to do. idk how to grab attention.. everything feel like shyt right now.. =( with all those bad rumor n ppl believing it. somehow i think its isa and misa doin their hate... i shall not let all this break me down. cos i have my blue. but i wish.. i could soon be his point of attention. where he will see more of me.. tell me more... idk idk idk.. i really dono.... i wish to go into isolation n forget everything. get offline forever. not talk to anyone anymore.. idk............. it jus upset me.. thing are hurting n upsetting me... but there nothing i can do to help or done. i feel so useless. so tiny.. like i don even exist. maybe its jus the depression kicking in... i will be strong n give it some more time.. who know when i will collaspe... i wish u don have to go.. im already missing u so much.. im sittin here. writtin this in tears. but u might nv know... it doesnt matter.. i still love u.. but it pain me so much.. havin to be so far away...being helpless. not able to do anything.. it feel like a punishment. like im nv meant to be happy for long.. like this one nightmare suddenly appearing out of my sweet dreams. im hidin this cryin face from u for the 1st time.. i don wan add to ur burden for now.. i wan u happy.. it feel so dark. im scared.. i really m. idk wat to say.. but all my memory with u are happy. i will keep it well n think of it.. pls stay. pls don be like other ppl. pls rmb to come back.. i really dono if i can handle another fall.. *be positive* lolz im scare. i still have tiny issue with trust and issue with security. im scare... jus cos ur great. but right now. im so worried bout u.. i have so much to say... so much in mind. but im so confuse... *knock my head on the wall* 每次我總 一個人走 交叉路口 自己生活 這次你卻 說帶我走 某個角落 就你和我 像土壤抓緊花的迷惑 像天空纏綿雨的洶湧 在你的身後 計算的步伐每個背影每個場景 都有發過的夢 帶我走 到遙遠的以後 帶走我 一個人自轉的寂寞 帶我走 就算我的愛 你的自由 都將成為泡沫 我不怕 帶我走 每次我總 獨自遠走 抱著緘默 不皺眉頭 這次你卻 說一起走 彼此溫柔 從此以後 像土壤抓緊花的迷惑 像天空纏綿雨的洶湧 在你的身後 計算的步伐每個背影每個場景 都有發過的夢 帶我走 到遙遠的以後 帶走我 一個人自轉的寂寞 帶我走 就算我的愛 你的自由 都將成為泡沫 我不怕 帶我走 白馬溜過漆黑盡頭 潮汐襲來浪花顫動 凝在海岸結成了墨 哦～ 薔薇朝向草原氣球 郵差傳來一地彩虹 刻在心中拍打著脈搏 帶我走 到遙遠的以後 帶走我 一個人自轉的寂寞 帶我走 就算我的愛 你的自由 都將成為泡沫 我不怕 帶我走 帶我走 就算我的愛 你的自由 都將成為泡沫 帶我走～
